Walk of Shame. In a state park.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
