Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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