I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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