You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
