im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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