I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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