i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize