is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize