so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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