just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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