i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
