Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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