Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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