I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
