I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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