I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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