and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so let's talk penis.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
