arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
