I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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