Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
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