you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize