I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize