That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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