So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.