if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.