I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
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He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
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Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?