WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.