It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
