Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I am naked and annoyed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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