I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.