I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
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Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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