I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
