I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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