its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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