Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
