why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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