I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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