Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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