it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
