and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
