I just made out with a guy for $7.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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