It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
