I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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