Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
