i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
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How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
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He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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