he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
