i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
