Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
