we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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