I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
