I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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