Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize