the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
