You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
