so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
