If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
