worst night to have a conscience
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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