the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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